#NoFlukeForMe thanks…

Well hello there.

This is another non-review and I apologize in advance to any readers who simply LOVE this series. It’s just my opinion…

And for the sake of my own sanity, I’m going to keep it short:

Are you kidding me!

This morning I opened my e-mail to find an advertisement for Jo’s latest atrocity (even though I un-subscribed after the last one)

What I can’t believe is that after 18+ books (21 if you count the novellas), Jo still has everyone waiting for Hannah to make a stinking decision!

And while the e-mail teases that she is making a “life-changing decision”, there is
A – NO guarantee that she actually will make any such life-changing decision because this has been teased before, and,
B – there is NO guarantee that the decision tantalizingly dangled is the one we’ve been waiting through TWENTY-ONE stories for!

Well, I say we but I don’t mean me. I lost interest after the Lake Eden Cookbook came out. I had had enough!

I know… I know… I really ought to have learned my lesson after two or even three stories but at the time I began reading these books, I was just glad to have found a series without a cuss word on every page so I overlooked a lot of the other white elephants this series has carted around for 20+ books!

So… the reason I am NON-reviewing this series follow:

  • 50 shades of crap  – Yet another “best-selling” series that tells women that men are “just that way”… because if Hannah doesn’t give Mike what he “needs”, it’s OK for him to get it elsewhere, right? NOT! (in 21+ stories, there is WAY more than 50 examples of this behavior)
  • Continuity – because fans are too stupid to remember from one book to the next what kind of vehicle Hannah drives or the way Mike talks to her or the myriad of other things that change with no warning or explanation throughout the series because no one who writes or edits can be bothered to make certain their facts are correct. Well I don’t think so but they still sit atop the Best seller list so…
  • clean reads – Well, I thought they were because of the cutesie way that Jo writes that Hannah says something she would never utter within the hearing of her nieces… but the fact remains that Hannah says these words – they simply aren’t on the page. And not having details of Mike’s hound-dogging ways does not change the fact that he is off spreading his oats all over (I’m sorry… is it still called Lake Eden or has the name of the town changed by now?)

And that’s leaving out the individual issues I have with each story – plot holes, ridiculous explanations, impossible timing and kids who are WAY WAY smarter and grown up than is remotely possible (and I have one of those kids who is almost ridiculously mature for her age so I do have an inside track).

In the beginning I convinced myself that it made sense for Hannah to waver between the electrifying, mind-numbing hormonal assault and the steady, dependability with no “spark” – but when you add in all of the hound-dogging and subtle abuse, WHO IS REALLY PICKING MIKE OVER NORMAN!!! Well apparently a lot of readers.

And I have to say… if Hannah ever does pick Mike over Norman, well at least I won’t be reading about it!

And with that, I’m out. I’m done. I leave it to you whether or not you want to waste your time, money and brain cells on this… this… farce!

#NoFlukeForMe – THANKS!

Review © JCMorrows 2015

 

If you would rather check for yourself – (from your local library – until you decide for yourself whether or not you want to put any more money in Jo’s pocket anyway) – you can find info on each one below:

DOUBLE FUDGE BROWNIE MURDER (Release, Date: 2/24/2015)

Book 18 in the nationally best-selling series! Out February 24, 2015!This novel picks right-up where BLACKBERRY PIE MURDER left off and promises to answer many of the questions Hannah fans.

 

BLACKBERRY PIE MURDER

Book 17 in the nationally best-selling series!
It’s been a sleepy summer for the folks of Lake Eden, Minnesota. In fact, it’s been a whole four months since anyone in the Swensen family has come across a dead body–a detail that just made the front page of the local paper. And that means Hannah Swensen can finally focus on her bakery… or can she?

 

Joanne Fluke’s LAKE EDEN COOKBOOK

Looking to find as many Hannah Swensen recipes as possible in one place? This collection contains ALL of Hannah’s published recipes from CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE MURDER to CARROT CAKE MURDER, plus a generous sprinkling of new never-before-published recipes. There’s even a short story to go along with the delicious treats.

 

RED VELVET CUPCAKE MURDER

Book 16 in the nationally best-selling series!
This summer has been warmer than usual in Lake Eden, Minnesota, and Hannah Swensen is trying to beat the heat both in and out of her bakery kitchen. But she’s about to find out the hard way that nothing cools off a hot summer day like a cold-blooded murder…

 

CINNAMON ROLL MURDER

Book 15 in the nationally best-selling series!
April is a busy time for Hannah Swensen and her bakery; the warm weather makes folks in Lake Eden, Minnesota, go wild for something sweet. When Hannah hears that the Cinnamon Roll Six jazz band will be playing at the town’s Weekend Jazz Festival, she’s more than happy to bake up a generous supply of their namesake confections to welcome the band to town… but not before tragedy strikes!

 

CANDY CANE MURDER

This is not an “official” part of the Hannah Swensen series but a collection of three short stories by Joanne Fluke and two other best-selling authors—who also happen to be huge Hannah fans. Don’t worry— just like the previous holiday collection GINGERBREAD COOKIE MURDER, there’s still plenty of murder and tasty treats to go around!

 

DEVIL’S FOOD CAKE MURDER

Book 14 in the nationally best-selling series! This USA TODAY bestseller is guaranteed to satisfy your sweet tooth!
Hannah Swensen has to admit life is pretty sweet. Things are going well in the romance department and her bakery’s delectable confections are selling as fast as she can bake them. Even her good friend Claire is head over heels with her new husband, Reverend Bob Knudson. If only they could find time to take their honeymoon!

 

GINGERBREAD COOKIE MURDER

In this merry collection of holiday mysteries, murder is making its own special delivery! This is not an “official” part of the Hannah Swensen series but a collection of three short stories by Joanne Fluke and two other best-selling authors—who also happen to be huge Hannah fans. Don’t worry—there’s still plenty of murder and tasty treats to go around!

 

APPLE TURNOVER MURDER

Book 13 in the nationally best-selling series! This luscious Los Angeles Times And USA Today Bestseller is sure to satisfy your Hannah cravings!
“Cozy fans will welcome bestseller Fluke’s charming 13th Hannah Swensen mystery… Scrumptious recipes include mocha nut butterballs and chocolate marshmallow cookie bars.”—Publishers Weekly on APPLE TURNOVER MURDER

 

PLUM PUDDING MURDER

Book 12 in the nationally best-selling series!
The yuletide season in Lake Eden, Minnesota, guarantees a white Christmas, delectable holiday goodies from Hannah Swensen’s bakery, The Cookie Jar—and murder. As a shadow hangs over her friends’ Christmas wedding, Hannah’s determined to cook a killer’s goose before anyone else gets burned…

 

CREAM PUFF MURDER

Nationally best-selling author Joanne Fluke returns with book #11 of her Hannah Swensen series!
Bakery owner Hannah Swensen has a dress to fit into and a date with her sister, Andrea, at Lake Eden’s new health club, Heavenly Bodies. Dragging herself out of bed on a frigid Minnesota morning for exercise, of all things, is bad enough. Discovering the body of man-eating bombshell Ronni Ward floating in the gym’s jacuzzi? Okay, that’s worse. Nor does it help that there’s a plate of The Cookie Jar’s very own cream puffs garnishing the murder scene.

 

CARROT CAKE MURDER

“Filled with juicy scandal, delightfully eccentric characters and 21 tempting recipes…bestseller Fluke’s 10th Hannah Swensen mystery centers on a family reunion that turns deadly. The ending will leave cozy fans gasping for breath.”
—Publishers Weekly

 

KEY LIME PIE MURDER

This New York Times Bestseller is #9 in the ongoing Hannah Swensen series!
It promises to be a busy week for Hannah Swensen. Not only is she whipping up treats for the chamber of commerce booth at the Tri-County fair, she’s also judging the baking contest; acting as a magician’s assistant for her business partner’s husband; trying to coax Moishe, her previously rapacious feline, to end his hunger strike, and performing her own private carnival act by juggling the demands of her mother and sisters.

 

CHERRY CHEESECAKE MURDER

This 8th installment of this best-selling series finds leading lady Hannah Swensen and her bakery, The Cookie Jar, basking in the glow of Hollywood glamour when Main Street becomes a movie set. And although tensions simmer as the cameras roll, no one expects the action to turn deadly…until it’s too late…

 

PEACH COBBLER MURDER

With The Cookie Jar, Hannah Swensen has a mouthwatering monopoly on the bakery business of Lake Eden, Minnesota. But when a rival store opens, tensions begin to bubble in this 7th book of this delicious series!

 

SUGAR COOKIE MURDER

Book #6 in this nationally best-selling series!
The holidays are the icing on the cake for bakery owner Hannah Swensen. Surrounded by her loved ones, she has all the ingredients for a perfect Christmas—until murder is added to the mix…

 

FUDGE CUPCAKE MURDER

Book #5 in this nationally best-selling series!
Bakery owner Hannah Swensen just can’t keep her hands out of the batter when murder stirs things up in Lake Eden, Minnesota, leaving the sheriff dead, a deputy accused, and a killer on the loose…

 

LEMON MERINGUE PIE MURDER

Book #4 in this nationally best-selling series!
The residents of Lake Eden, Minnesota, are planning to paint the town red, white, and blue to celebrate the Fourth of July—but the fireworks are already going off at Hannah Swensen’s bake shop, The Cookie Jar…

 

BLUEBERRY MUFFIN MURDER

Book #3 in this nationally best-selling series!
Bakery owner Hannah Swensen is back—and the cookies are crumbling—as acclaimed author Joanne Fluke serves readers another helping of murder, mayhem, and mouthwatering mystery…

 

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE MURDER

Book #2 in this nationally best-selling series!
In her debut mystery, Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder, intrepid amateur sleuth and bakery owner Hannah Swensen proved that when it comes to crime, nothing is sweeter than a woman who knows how to really mix it up. Now, the flame-haired, tart-talking (and baking) heroine is back, judging a contest where the competition is really murder.

 

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE MURDER

Discover The Delicious Mystery That Started It All!
No one cooks up a delectable, suspense-filled mystery quite like Hannah Swensen. And it all began on these pages, with a bakery, a murder, and some suddenly scandalous chocolate-chip crunchies. Featuring a bonus short story and brand new, mouthwatering recipes, this new edition of the very first Hannah Swensen mystery is sure to have readers coming back for seconds…

 

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